William, Harry and the big "What If"
Not yet published
The Duke of Cambridge and Prince Harry have spoken about their regrets around their last conversation with their Mother, Princess Diana. It was a fairly typical family situation, Mum calls home and the boys are more interested in getting on with their games than talking to Mum. Of course neither she nor they could know that this would be their last ever conversation and so that ordinary call has taken on an extra-ordinary emotional weight.
This latest interview makes for heart rending reading, the idea that those two young men, used to Mum being away
are weighed down by "what if" and feel that this regret will be with them for the rest of their lives. They are intelligent - they know intellectually that they could never have guessed what would happen and that they didn't do anything wrong. But the heart isn't intellectual and their broken hearts are crying out - if only, or would have, should have... and this is the very definition of unresolved grief. We know from working with many thousands of grieving people that unresolved grief is almost always about undelivered communications of an emotional nature. So while the Princes have had counselling, it seems that they still have some
unresolved grief they are carrying around in their hearts. So what can they (or you if this is something you can identify with) do?
Realise that it is completely normal to have one or more things you wish had been different or better or that you had more of - eg time together.
Get hold of a copy of The Grief Recovery Handbook from this site or even from the library and follow the step by step instructions that teach you how to complete these undelivered communications. Alternatively you can get help with the process in one of our workshops or by working with a local Grief Recovery Specialist.
Remember to end every phone conversation with "Goodbye" even if you expect to see someone in a few minutes time. That way if something awful does happen at least you know you said "Goodbye"
Even if you are angry, don't part or go to bed on hurtful words - you could part with something like "I am really angry with you right now, and I love you, Goodbye"
We'd love to hear your experiences:
Tagged as: Duke of Cambridge, If only, Prince Harry, Prince William, Princess Diana, Regrets about last conversation, What if
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