After a loss, you may consciously or unconsciously keep busy. You may throw yourself wholeheartedly into work or clean your house relentlessly, or spend every waking hour gardening, to distract yourself from your grief; anything to avoid thinking about that pain. You might become so busy that you collapse into bed at night relieved that you’ve survived another day and relieved that you’re so tired you sleep.
As we go on experiencing other losses, we carry on being strong and busy, thinking that it’s the right thing to do. What you’re doing is ignoring and burying the pain, disrespecting your emotional needs, building grief upon grief, and storing up problems for later in life. In fact, what you are really doing is surviving on the surface of life instead of experiencing it to the full – good, bad, happy, or sad.