Father’s Day is on Sunday – how will you be celebrating? 
 
For many of us, Father’s Day brings about memories and thoughts that may be painful. Here are just a few of the situations that can make Father’s Day a difficult holiday to enjoy: 
Having lost a father (or father figure) 
Wanting, but not being able to, have children 
Having a difficult relationship with your father/children 
Being a widow with children who will miss their father on Sunday 
Being a father who has no contact with his children 
Being a father whose child has died, gone missing, run away 
Growing up with an absent father or a father you never knew 
Having a serious illness and spending Father's Day in hospital 
Father's Day when you're grieving
 
Is recovery from grief really possible? 
 
This question is often the topic of debate, as those who have suffered a loss know that their lives will never be the same again. It has also been said that we do not recover from grief, but rather that we learn to live with it over time. 
 
So...what is recovery? 
 
When we refer to recovery in the context of the Grief Recovery Method, we refer to the set of action steps that allow grievers to heal the pain that they are experiencing as the result of a specific loss. We also discuss the myths that our society continues to pass down that can compound the feelings of sadness and isolation that grievers are already experiencing. 
recovery from grief
Is grief really the “price of love”? 
 
There have been many positive developments in the dialogue people are having about grief in recent years. This is an improvement from earlier times when grief was only discussed in private or not at all. 
 
The increase in discussion around the topic unfortunately does not mean that misinformation surrounding grief ceases to exist. In fact, the wealth of information at our fingertips and the speed at which material is shared on the internet mean that misinformation tends to spread more quickly than ever before. Since this can contribute to the isolation of grievers and eventually lead to unresolved grief, we think it is important to continue spreading awareness of the myths surrounding loss and bereavement. 
grief, bereavement
Whether it be to a new home, a new school, or to a different country, all of us will have moved at some point in our lives. 
 
Many moves happen during childhood, when young families expand and build homes, experience a job transfer, or find a better suited school for their children. Well-meaning parents, anticipating that the move may be difficult, scary or painful for their child, try to ward off any negative feelings by making positive, hopeful statements. 
 
Alone on your birthday? Valentine’s Day? New Year's Eve? 
 
Some special days and events are powerful reminders of the fact that someone very important is missing from our life. Valentine's Day, like birthdays and anniversaries, is one of those very special days that can create an immense amount of painful emotional energy. 
 
For those of us who have lost a partner, are looking for love, are divorced, or may not have the relationship of our dreams, the flood of images and sentimental relationship posts on social media may be overwhelming and exacerbate our feelings of loneliness. 
You didn’t get that job. 
They didn’t accept your offer on the house. 
 
You may regard these disappointments as “just a part of life”. Nevertheless, they can still affect us deeply. We may ask ourselves why we’re so bothered about something we never really had in the first place. Why is that? Why can’t we get over it? 
 
This weekend mothers all over the UK will be receiving gifts from their children and partners to celebrate motherhood. We would like to look at the holiday from a less common perspective, acknowledging those who may be experiencing more painful emotions than happy ones on Mothering Sunday. 
 
Some of us may find this occasion difficult to celebrate because we have never been able to experience motherhood even though it has been one of our hopes and dreams. 
 
Others may struggle with this day because motherhood has not been everything they expected it to be. 
When you speak to people, do you minimise your heartaches? 
 
“I know I should be grateful, but…” 
 
“I know it could be worse, but...” 
 
“I know I haven’t really lost anything, but...” 
 
It seems universal that we downplay the struggles in our lives because we are taught to be grateful, stay positive, or that someone always has it worse than we do. We see it every day in our Grief Recovery programmes – people who are grieving but aren’t giving themselves permission to grieve. 
To say that people are uncomfortable with emotions such as sadness, rage or fear – especially after a personal loss – is an understatement. 
 
Sit back for a moment and think about the times in your life when you were feeling sad and tried to talk about those feelings with others. On a few occasions your friend or family member may have simply listened without analysis, criticism or judgement. More often than not, however, you may have received one of the following responses:- 
I remember vividly within days of my husband Kevin dying being asked about his stuff. Honestly! You would imagine that there would be a whole host of other topics people would ask about before this, but no. Everyone wanted to know "have you done anything about the clothes yet?" 
If you are reading this and grieving yourself I bet you will have immediately noticed that these possessions which sat next to his skin have been de-personalised. THE clothes, not his clothes. "The Clothes", as if they are wild animals which left untamed & uncaptured will riot around the house (ie your life) out of control.  
So having lived this, discussed this with dozens of other grieving people and read hundreds of accounts of dealing with these wild beasties here is my suggested way to go about it:  
Clothes after a bereavement

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