Coping with Disappointment
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You didn’t get that job.
They didn’t accept your offer on the house.
You may regard these disappointments as “just a part of life”. Nevertheless, they can still affect us deeply. We may ask ourselves why we’re so bothered about something we never really had in the first place. Why is that? Why can’t we get over it?
In Grief Recovery, we relate to disappointments such as a lost job opportunity or missing out on our dream home in terms of loss.
Our relationship with a potential employer begins long before that final decision. We may have spent hours polishing our CV, cover letter and gathering references. We may go through more than one round of interviews and even meet our potential colleagues. We begin to plan what we would do with the additional income, the holidays, and get excited about a shorter commute or the better working hours.
In terms of the house, our relationship begins as soon as we begin daydreaming about a new place to live. Deciding which features are important to us, establishing a budget, house hunting, bank appointments and finally placing an offer can take months or even years. It’s no wonder that we are disappointed and may even go through a period of deep sadness when things do not go as planned.
When we plan our future, we lay out certain hopes, dreams and expectations. We imagine a better life. We expect something to happen (even if there is a chance it will not). When those hopes, dreams and expectations are suddenly lost, what happens?
The Grief Recovery Method gives us the tools to deal with these “little disappointments” in life with much more ease and confidence. We become more resilient and prepared to handle whatever may come our way.
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