You’re about to experience a results day like no other. Your hard work has ended with no exams and what you could have achieved had you sat the exams will always remain a mystery.  
 
This is on top of a year of losses of what you would have normally experienced at the end of school and our hearts go out to you. 
 
If Results Day feels like an earthquake, how you respond to those feelings is in your control, the results are not. What you decide to do next is down to you. Remember, everyone will react differently and that is ok. 
Going back to the classroom after lockdown

Results definitely do not define who you are 

You may receive the grades you want and feel happy, or you might feel cheated and it’s ok to feel like that. If you’re not feeling great about it all, perhaps stay off social media and avoid the news for the day, as they could make you feel worse. 
 
Remember this though, these results definitely do not define who you are. They are not your identity. Think about the other great things that make you who you are, whether that’s being a kind person and a good friend or having a talent. 
 
Whatever your results are, remember they are a mere stepping-stone to whatever you decide to do next. There are options open to you and avenues that maybe you have not thought about exploring before. However, we understand that your dreams may not have been realised and that will take time for you to process and be content with.  

Whatever you are feeling is fine 

You are allowed to feel what you are feeling. Whether you’re feeling overwhelmed, disappointment, sadness, excitement, happiness, or you’re overjoyed, take a moment to acknowledge these feelings. Then take a deep breath. Go outside or open a window and just close your eyes and listen to what’s going on outside and breathe in the fresh air. This will help you to feel a sense of calm. 
 

You need to be heard, not fixed 

If you’re not happy with your results, tell someone you trust how you’re feeling. You need to be heard, not fixed. And it’s ok to cry and feel sad. They are normal and natural reactions to your loss of hopes and expectations. 
 
If you’ve got conflicting feelings because you’re feeling happy but you’re also feeling guilty because your friend’s results weren’t what they were expecting, and you don’t know if you can celebrate, ask them how they are feeling and what they would like to do. 
 
If you’ve got a friend in distress, show this letter to them, so they can read it, too. Allow them to talk to you and listen to them without interruption or judgement. Like you, they don’t need solutions or advice, they need their feelings heard. 
 
Once your feelings have been addressed, you will then have a clearer head to plan your next steps. 
 
With love and gentle hugs, 
 
The Open Ears Team at Grief UK 
 
 
Tagged as: talking about loss
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