Grief at the Holidays: Tip 7
Posted on 20th December 2019 at 17:29
As grievers we tend to isolate ourselves because we quickly learn that many people aren’t “safe” to talk to. They try to fix us or make inane remarks that might be intellectually true but are emotionally useless. Nevertheless, isolation impedes recovery. We need others around us to share our thoughts and feelings with and – yes – to share new experiences that can become new happy memories.
If you will be alone over the holidays, know that this is an issue for many. The urge to isolate may be even higher as you imagine your friends and colleagues celebrating a wonderful Christmas in a home full of people. Despite the urge to keep your head under the covers, try to leave your home. Attend community events or volunteer.
Also keep in mind that social media is not necessarily a good idea over the holidays, as it increases feelings of loneliness and isolation. Let your friends and colleagues know that the holidays are a difficult time for you and that you’re sad about spending the holiday by yourself. Even if you’re not seeking an invitation to someone’s home on Christmas Day, it will still help you to speak about your feelings.
If you will be spending the holidays with family but still tend to isolate yourself, talking about your emotions with a close friend can help. You may ask someone you know to be available over the holidays for a quick chat or text when needed. You can let your family know that you’re worried about the holidays and that you’re not sure how you'll handle it.
It's okay to want personal space when you're grieving, but be aware of the time you're spending alone and limit it if necessary. This may mean some advance planning on your part, and making sure others are aware of the situation. Ask for someone to check in on you periodically just to make sure you’re okay. They will very likely be happy to do it and relieved that you told them how they can help.
Tagged as: Holidays & Anniversaries
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