After a loss, you may consciously or unconsciously keep busy. You may throw yourself wholeheartedly into work or clean your house relentlessly, or spend every waking hour gardening, to distract yourself from your grief; anything to avoid thinking about that pain. You might become so busy that you collapse into bed at night relieved that you’ve survived another day and relieved that you’re so tired you sleep. 
 
As we go on experiencing other losses, we carry on being strong and busy, thinking that it’s the right thing to do. What you’re doing is ignoring and burying the pain, disrespecting your emotional needs, building grief upon grief, and storing up problems for later in life. In fact, what you are really doing is surviving on the surface of life instead of experiencing it to the full – good, bad, happy, or sad. 
Distracting ourselves by keeping busy

Pull up the weeds 

Think about grief as a garden full of weeds. You can keep cutting down the weeds, which will create short-term relief. Short term because the weeds will grow back. Or you can pull the weeds out of the ground and eliminate the problem altogether. We want you to have a predisposition to pulling up the weeds. That way, you won’t have lifelong battles with emotional substitutes, such as keeping busy. 

How we can help 

Grief UK is an education and training organisation that teaches The Grief Recovery Method, the only evidence-based* grief programme globally that gives people the tools and skills to learn how to move beyond death, divorce, and other losses. 
 
Our eight-part programme is now available for hour-long, one-to-one sessions via Zoom with our Advanced Certified Grief Recovery Specialists, who can be found here
 
Once restrictions are lifted, we have specialists around the country who can offer face-to-face support for one-to-one and group sessions. 
 
We also have a book, The Grief Recovery Handbook, which can be purchased here. 
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