I get asked this question quite often so I thought today would be a good idea to answer it. You see today is an anniversary. It is 6 years to the day since my much loved husband Kevin died following a short battle with skin cancer. I found The Grief Recovery Handbook in the year after he died and taking the actions detailed in the book was transformational. I think you already would have guessed I found it useful, after all here I am now running Grief Recovery UK! However did it mean I was instantly cured? No of course not. 
Is it possible to recover from grief? this blog answers the question
Grief is the normal and natural reaction to loss. We grieve all losses to a greater or lesser extent and clearly a 22 year loving relationship ending so tragically was a very big deal indeed. Having done the book was I “recovered”? I still had difficult days, I would still find myself in floods of tears I was extremely sad. I wasn’t in pain. Right there is the difference. Sad is normal, Sad is ok. Today 6 years on I’m sad thinking that I will never again get to laugh with, hug or simply be with that wonderful man. However, the knife twist of pain when I think about my loss vanished when I first completed the actions in the book right back in those early days. 
 
Recovery to me means that I can talk and think about the person who has gone or the relationship that has ended honestly. I can remember the good bits and bad bits in proportion without becoming bitter, angry or depressed. I can smile at the good memories and maybe shed a tear over the sad ones and that is all good. There are no “landmines.” Those topics that occasionally come up in conversation that used to trigger a painful memory. This was incredible freedom in those early days when others were stumbling around me making huge conversational gaffes in their efforts not to “set me off”. 
 
Sometimes I get asked by well meaning people “doesn’t working with grievers drag up all that old stuff everytime?” My answer is simple – there is nothing to drag up. It’s all sorted – completed and let go of. 
 
People often tell grievers to “let go and move on” and many more would if they only knew how. I was fortunate The Grief Recovery Handbook taught me how and yes I regard myself as recovered. 
 
Today is my remembrance day and I will shed a few sad tears, smile at a few happy memories then carry on with my day as a normal, recovered human being. 
 
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On 12th February 2017 at 19:51, Judith Adda wrote:
12.2.2017 @ 8pm Hello Carole, sending you my best wishes on your remembrance day. Your dear late husband would be so proud of all you're doing to help others. Your words definitely struck a chord with me, I hope to learn a lot from you on the Huntingdon course in February, kind regards, Judith Adda

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