One More Day
Posted on 11th August 2020 at 16:18
If you had one more day with your loved one what would you say?
We often hear about regrets grievers have had about not communicating something before their loved one died, such as “I wish I had told them how much I love them,” or “If only I had told them what impact they had on my life.”
Carrying this around can cause great pain to some. Others may feel guilt, especially if there was a less than happy final conversation.
The chance of saying goodbye
Death isn’t always a gentle slipping away presenting an opportunity to say all the things you’ve always meant to. A loved one may die suddenly, leaving you in shock with no time to say what you ideally would have. A long-term illness may have an extended build-up that leaves a loved one unable to speak or understand.
Since COVID-19 came into the world, many have faced loved ones being taken away in the back of an ambulance, only to have had the chance of saying goodbye in hospital taken away.
Not being able to say what you had imagined could put you into a ‘hamster wheel’ of pain. Suddenly the opportunity to talk to that person has been taken away and you’re not able to physically see this person again to get the words out.
One definition of grief is the feeling of reaching out for someone who’s always been there, only to discover when you need them one more time, they’re no longer there.
How can we help?
You will always miss your loved ones after they have died, without question. We can help you to relieve the pain and release the excruciating longing feeling that keeps you up at night and impacts your ability to feel joy. Instead of being burdened, we can free you to continue to live your life.
The Grief Recovery Method is not counselling or therapy, it is an education programme; a series of small action steps taken that allow you to complete with the loss. We have a network of Certified Grief Recovery Specialists who can help you through this process; allowing you to let go of the ‘if only I had told them…’ moments.
The Grief Recovery programme takes you through a step-by-step, week-by-week process and toolkit that help you not only heal your hurt but help you to be equipped to face any future losses.
Always be prepared
There’s a lesson in this for the rest of us. When you speak to someone on the phone, it’s normal to end the conversation with ‘see you soon’ or ’see you later.’ We’d urge you to make sure you say ‘goodbye,’ and ‘I love you’ and ‘I miss you’ (if they’re true and honest statements for you to make) to those you care about as frequently as you can at the end of your conversations.
Saying goodbye at the end of every conversation means that in the event something awful happens, you at least got to say ‘goodbye’ to them.
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