Have you had your upcoming nuptials put back or cancelled because of the lockdown? Maybe you have got wedding plans for later in the year and you’re unsure about what will happen. You may also be feeling down at the thought of continuing to plan a wedding that may not be able to take place. We’ve heard about brides-to-be feeling guilty for feeling sad, anxious or bereft. We can only imagine how disappointing, upsetting or frustrating this time has been for brides-to-be and wanted to let you know that it’s perfectly acceptable and reasonable to feel what you’re feeling. 
Wedding cancelled because of lockdown
As we are all witnessing, COVID-19 doesn’t discriminate. Many of us are starting to be touched directly or indirectly by this awful virus. We have seen with our own Prime Minister that this virus can strike anyone. Today’s post is about starting the process of getting your relationships in as good a place as possible, so that whatever happens, you feel at peace with your loved ones. 
 
We’ve come up with a 5-point plan that you can apply to any of your relationships: 
 
 
We will go through each point in detail, so you can apply the points to your relationships. 
Living Through Lockdown a 5 Point Plan
Teenagers have been going through a mixed bag of emotions; the loss of expected hopes, dreams and expectations, elation then perhaps deflation at not having to sit their exams that they’ve worked so hard for, the sadness of missing out on the right of passage of finishing school, no high school proms, and not having their friends around them. Their sense of community has been taken away from them. Until education resumes for them, they may have very little sense of purpose. 
Today’s blog is to recognise that while we’re all grieving the loss of our normal life right now, others are grieving the loss of their relatives, the loss of pets, the breakdown of a relationship, the loss of health, or their career. All the above experiences are real grief. However, everyone is grieving differently to you. 
 
When you compare one grief to another, it automatically robs dignity from the person who’s made to feel as if their loss isn’t as big, for whatever reason. It also takes away from the fact that all grief is experienced at 100%. 
Comparing losses and grief
To quote the Faithless song, Insomnia, we are hearing about a lot of people who ‘can’t get no sleep’. When we don’t get enough sleep, it can impact our immune system and our mood. A lack of sleep can make us feel worse. 
 
A disrupted sleep pattern is a very common response to grief (if this is the first of our Coronavirus blogs that you’re reading, we’ve identified that we’re all grieving our loss of normal). Whether it’s not enough sleep, or sleeping too much, or both, alternately, this is a perfectly normal and natural response to loss and anxiety. 
Can't sleep during quarantine
From an early age we have learned to deal with sad, negative emotions incorrectly, and we end up storing this energy inside. An example of this would be a child coming home from school feeling sad about an argument with a friend and they’re given a biscuit by their mother ‘to feel better.’ In that moment, they’ve been given a message that feelings can be fixed with food. The feelings are now buried under the biscuit and the distraction. In times of crisis, we turn to our old and learned ideas to deal with them. 
Burying feelings with food
When someone you love, or are close to dies, it’s hard enough, but suddenly things have changed. Our hearts go out to the families and friends who are now not able to share last moments with their loved ones who have been hospitalised with COVID-19, who can’t see family for a hug, and instead have to self-isolate after a loss. 
 
The order of things has been turned upside-down. People can’t say goodbye in the way they would expect. There may be a ‘guilt’ element that your loved one has died alone, even though it’s out of your control. Lives and indeed relationships have suddenly been cut short. And then the funeral. Many friends and relatives have had the ritual of saying goodbye taken away from them; something that is part of the normal grieving process. 
Not being able to say goodbye
 
Have you ever heard the expression, “Little donkeys have big ears!”? 
 
We’re not for a moment comparing children to donkeys but the same principle applies! Children pick up and hear far more than we give them credit for. They hear snippets of adult conversations and can hear the news blaring from television sets and radios. They spent their last couple of weeks at school learning to wash their hands to funny songs because of ‘the virus’. Put it this way, it would have been hard to shield them from any kind of knowledge of the Coronavirus. 
Talking to Children about Coronavirus
 
You might be forgiven for thinking that our name, Grief Recovery is aimed at people dealing with bereavement. However, it seemed fitting at this time to reach out to everyone who is in lockdown, quarantine, isolated on their own, or is having to go out to work. 
 
In this unprecedented time, we’re all experiencing the loss of our lives, routines, work, family, friends, freedom. 
There is also a huge fear factor; fear of the unknown, fear of catching the virus, fear of others, and fear of the loss of control. Coming to terms with this is not something we’re used to. 
Grief and Coronavirus
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