While the public have had another layer of grief to deal with as they’ve been unable to say goodbye, either in person or because they’ve had a ‘no frills’ funeral, or both, professionals in the funeral industry have adapted by making the best of the situation, ensuring relatives are left feeling that they’ve done their best. We’ve heard of funeral celebrants filling spaces in crematoriums with funeral directors and streaming the service online to mourners, just to ensure there are people physically in attendance. Crematoriums have stored husbands and wives, brothers and sisters, and other family members together. 
Funeral professionals totally changed the way they work
If you've been following our 5-point plan for living through lockdown, you know that today's tip is all about learning how to say goodbye. 
 
Here's another overview of our 5-point plan: 
5. Say goodbye 
 
When you speak to someone on the phone, it’s normal to end the conversation with ‘see you soon’ or ’see you later.’ We’d urge you to make sure you say ‘goodbye,’ and ‘I love you’ and ‘I miss you’ (if they’re true and honest statements for you to make) to those you care about as frequently as you can at the end of your conversations. In our 5-point plan, we told you that COVID-19 does not discriminate. Saying goodbye at the end of every conversation means that in the event something awful happens, your last word was goodbye. 
 
In our work with grieving people we regularly hear that one of the painful ideas that keeps them stuck in their grief is that they didn’t get to say goodbye. Firefighters and those in the armed forces are trained never to part on a bad word with loved ones for this very reason. 
The third step on our 5-point plan for living through lockdown is being emotionally honest. (Take a look at Step 1: Acknowledge everything and Step 2: Be present if you missed them.) 
 
A quote used in the Grief Recovery Training is “Love is the product of truthful communication,” and whether we’re talking romantic love or any relationship, when we’re emotionally honest everything works better. For example, “I have a lot to do, I would really appreciate you taking the rubbish out,” is less likely to cause an argument than “Why do you never take the rubbish out?” 
 
The first is what you’re feeling is on the matter, the latter is a criticism. If you try to stick to what’s true for you and express it, you are more likely to be heard
‘Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, which is why it’s called the present.’ 
We all spend so much of our lives time travelling, we barely notice it. Travelling into the past with our thoughts to find things to beat ourselves up with, then projecting ourselves into the future to worry, creating stress, anxiety and pain, much of which could be avoided if we simply stayed in the present
 
In fact, it's so important that we've included it on our 5-point plan for living through lockdown. (If you missed Step 1, Acknowledge everything, click here.) 
Today we’re starting the journey of taking you through our Living Through Lockdown 5-Point Plan, starting with Acknowledge Everything. Has your standard response to ‘how are you feeling’ become ‘I’m fine’ when people ask, but underneath you’re thinking, ‘I’m anything but fine’? The likelihood is that you’re going through a whole raft of emotions right now, which change throughout the course of the day. There will be good days and bad days. 
Have you had your upcoming nuptials put back or cancelled because of the lockdown? Maybe you have got wedding plans for later in the year and you’re unsure about what will happen. You may also be feeling down at the thought of continuing to plan a wedding that may not be able to take place. We’ve heard about brides-to-be feeling guilty for feeling sad, anxious or bereft. We can only imagine how disappointing, upsetting or frustrating this time has been for brides-to-be and wanted to let you know that it’s perfectly acceptable and reasonable to feel what you’re feeling. 
Wedding cancelled because of lockdown
As we are all witnessing, COVID-19 doesn’t discriminate. Many of us are starting to be touched directly or indirectly by this awful virus. We have seen with our own Prime Minister that this virus can strike anyone. Today’s post is about starting the process of getting your relationships in as good a place as possible, so that whatever happens, you feel at peace with your loved ones. 
 
We’ve come up with a 5-point plan that you can apply to any of your relationships: 
 
 
We will go through each point in detail, so you can apply the points to your relationships. 
Living Through Lockdown a 5 Point Plan
Teenagers have been going through a mixed bag of emotions; the loss of expected hopes, dreams and expectations, elation then perhaps deflation at not having to sit their exams that they’ve worked so hard for, the sadness of missing out on the right of passage of finishing school, no high school proms, and not having their friends around them. Their sense of community has been taken away from them. Until education resumes for them, they may have very little sense of purpose. 
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