Supporting GCSE and A Level Students Through Lockdown
Posted on 17th April 2020 at 09:44
Teenagers have been going through a mixed bag of emotions; the loss of expected hopes, dreams and expectations, elation then perhaps deflation at not having to sit their exams that they’ve worked so hard for, the sadness of missing out on the right of passage of finishing school, no high school proms, and not having their friends around them. Their sense of community has been taken away from them. Until education resumes for them, they may have very little sense of purpose.
By now, they have probably settled into a daily pattern of behaviour. Some might stay in bed until the afternoon and stay awake until the early hours, others might be gaming and isolating themselves. While these actions aren’t harmful in themselves, they can become harmful if your teenager ‘keeps busy’ with them for the long term, as their actions are distracting them from dealing with how they’re really feeling.
Offering Support - Not Solutions
While it would be all too easy to tell them to be grateful for what they have got, try not to. It’s very important to acknowledge their losses and be present and give them the time to talk uninterrupted. You may need to encourage them to ‘open up’ about how they’re really feeling.
Start by telling the truth about how you feel about your situation, for example ‘I’m worried about work and if we’ll have enough money to cover the bills and food." This will enable your teenager to share their true feelings with you.
Do tell them that you can’t imagine how they must be feeling right now about their situation.
Recognise that what they’re feeling is emotional, not intellectual. Feeling sad and scared are normal and natural responses.
Remember that everyone is unique and there is no right or wrong way to feel. Allow them to share their emotions without judgment, criticism or interruption.
Listen with your heart, not your head. They don’t need fixing; they just need to be heard.
Be Patient. Give them time to form their own opinions.
Don’t say "Don't feel scared," as fear is a normal and common response to this situation.
Don’t say "Don't feel sad." Sadness is a healthy and normal reaction to the loss of their lives as they know it.
You don’t need to be strong. It gives them the message that they must be strong too, which means they will hide their normal and natural feelings.
Don’t compare their lives or situations to others in the world. Comparison minimises their feelings.
More support for parents
Have you seen our Top 5 tips for living through lockdown?
Take a look at our 5-point Plan for how to cope, improve your relationships and start feeling better today:
2. Be present
5. Say goodbye
Looking to expand your in-depth knowledge?
Would you like to speak to someone or are considering a Grief Recovery programme? Click here to find an online Specialist who can help you right away.
If you would like more information on how to cope with the current coronavirus crisis, see also:
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