Posts tagged “Loss of partner”

Father’s Day can be a very triggering time for many of us especially if: 
 
- your father has died, even if it was a long time ago 
 
- the father of your children has died 
 
- you didn’t get the chance to get to know your father and they were absent from your life 
 
- you’re a father and your child has died 
 
- you’re male and a child you conceived was never born, or was stillborn, or was born but lived for a short time 
 
- you’ve experienced infertility and there’s never been a pregnancy, as we establish relationships to the child we want and have hopes and dreams about 
Alone on Father's Day
Are you suffering from the physical symptoms of grief? It's surprising how physical grief can be. Your heart can literally ache. A memory can cause your stomach to tighten or a send a shiver down your spine. Some nights, your mind might race, causing your heart to race along with it, filling your body with energy that means you can hardly sleep. On other nights you might be so exhausted that you fall asleep immediately and still manage to wake up the next morning feeling shattered. 
Physical pain due to grief
"Happy Valentine's Day?" Whether this holiday makes you sad, angry or goes by without notice, here are some tips for getting through the day if you feel triggered by the roses, sweets and hearts. 
How to survive Valentine's Day
How many times have you heard one of the following? 
 
“It’s really time you should move on, get on with your life.” 
 
“You should really go out and meet people.” 
 
“Don’t worry, there are plenty of other fish in the sea.” 
 
“What’s in the past is in the past. Stop dwelling on it.” 
 
Even though this is well-intentioned advice, it’s rarely very helpful – if we could move on, most of us would have done it long ago! Here are four reasons why we tend to remain stuck after the end of a relationship. 
how to move on from a relationship

Mandy tells her story to Carole Henderson 

There were no warning signs 

 "please don't think that by recovering you're dishonouring their memory"    

Dec 5th 2017 was a normal evening in the Baxter household. Well that's what Mandy, wife to Vince and Mum to 3 children thought, oblivious to what was to come the next day. The following day when Vince didn't come home from work was the first inkling that something was wrong. Tragically Vince, her husband of almost 30 years, soulmate and best friend had taken his own life and her world was torn apart. The shock and disbelief was massive, yet very quickly Mandy realised she needed help - she had no idea how to begin to support their kids and being a woman of action she began to research.  
As people around the world celebrate International Pride Month, it’s a great opportunity to shed light on some of the issues facing the LGBTQ community in terms of grief and loss. 
From the very beginning, many people report the loss of identity that occurs when questioning their sexuality or realising that they have an identity other than the heterosexual one that is usually expected by their parents and the society at large. Furthermore, there may be a loss of hopes, dreams and expectations when realising that marriage and starting a family may be made much more challenging by regulations that do not yet support non-heterosexual couples. 
Loss of identity faced by LGBT
 
For those who are having a hard time this Father’s Day, just remember: 
 
It’s okay to be sad. 
 
You don’t need to be strong for anyone else. 
 
All feelings are normal. 
 
You don’t need to grieve alone. 
Father's Day for Grievers
Father’s Day is on Sunday – how will you be celebrating? 
 
For many of us, Father’s Day brings about memories and thoughts that may be painful. Here are just a few of the situations that can make Father’s Day a difficult holiday to enjoy: 
Having lost a father (or father figure) 
Wanting, but not being able to, have children 
Having a difficult relationship with your father/children 
Being a widow with children who will miss their father on Sunday 
Being a father who has no contact with his children 
Being a father whose child has died, gone missing, run away 
Growing up with an absent father or a father you never knew 
Having a serious illness and spending Father's Day in hospital 
Father's Day when you're grieving
 
Is recovery from grief really possible? 
 
This question is often the topic of debate, as those who have suffered a loss know that their lives will never be the same again. It has also been said that we do not recover from grief, but rather that we learn to live with it over time. 
 
So...what is recovery? 
 
When we refer to recovery in the context of the Grief Recovery Method, we refer to the set of action steps that allow grievers to heal the pain that they are experiencing as the result of a specific loss. We also discuss the myths that our society continues to pass down that can compound the feelings of sadness and isolation that grievers are already experiencing. 
recovery from grief
 
Alone on your birthday? Valentine’s Day? New Year's Eve? 
 
Some special days and events are powerful reminders of the fact that someone very important is missing from our life. Valentine's Day, like birthdays and anniversaries, is one of those very special days that can create an immense amount of painful emotional energy. 
 
For those of us who have lost a partner, are looking for love, are divorced, or may not have the relationship of our dreams, the flood of images and sentimental relationship posts on social media may be overwhelming and exacerbate our feelings of loneliness. 
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