In 2013 I suffered the most devastating loss. My sister died suddenly, with no warning. I was left with an overwhelming feeling of loss and a sadness in my heart like I had never felt before. I had no idea what I was doing, I was on automatic pilot. Trying desperately to hold things together and be strong for my parents, whilst dealing with other significant emotional events in my life. I was completely overwhelmed.
I quickly realised I was getting nowhere. I would get up each morning, paint on my smile and head off to work. People would comment how well I was doing, that I looked great and that they were glad to see I had ‘moved on’! Oh boy little did they know. Inside I was completely broken. I really needed help and didn’t really know where to start. I had tried a counsellor before with regards other personal issues - I really didn’t feel I achieved anything. I would go and chat each week but didn’t feel that anything had actually changed.
So I contacted Carole at Grief Recovery UK. Carole listened to me, really listened to me, I felt safe and I knew this was for me. If I had known then, what I know now, I would have done this so much sooner. Everything made sense, I wasn’t going mad, I was grieving. I soon realised my grief wasn’t just for my sister, in fact my lightbulb moment was actually realising that my heartache and pain was for a major emotional loss caused by a life event that I had ignored. I was so moved when I completed only loss, I literally felt like a weight had been lifted. Friends describe me as ‘different’, my whole outlook on life has changed, I feel so much happier.
I felt so passionate about my experience that I knew this was my new path in life. So here we are - I now have the ability to reach out to others, to help them complete their losses, whether that be through bereavement or a life event, to find peace and move forward. It can be so scary to take that first step. I will listen to you, really listen to you, without judgement, analysis or criticism. I will allow you to feel safe to that you too can move forward through your grief.