Tel: 07941 356815 
 
Laureen Hemming 
When managing a bereavement service for a local hospice, I became aware of the Grief Recovery Method. What I learnt about this method of working with grieving people inspired me to become a Grief Recovery Specialist and to use the Grief Recovery Method for the benefit of others as well as myself. Whilst relatively new to the Grief Recovery Method, I have extensive experience of grief work through previous careers in nursing and as a Senior Lecturer specialising in cancer care and end of life care which included supporting bereaved people. If you have a broken heart, if you are feeling lost or stuck, l can help using the Grief Recovery Method. It has a sound evidence base. 
Laureen Hemming Grief Recovery Specialist

What is The Grief Recovery Method? 

My Blog 

Loss – some usual responses I frequently misplace my phone – so often, it’s a family joke!  I have usual places that I look for it: • By my bed • By the computer • In the kitchen • In the lounge • My handbag • If this fails; then the car!  I usually enlist help – if someone else, like my husband or son are around and get the following responses: • “Where did you have it last?” – if I knew the phone wouldn’t be lost! • “Why don’t you always put it in the same place?” – I don’t have OCD! • “It’s a mobile, why don’t you keep it with you?” – Hello, I’m a woman. Ladies fashion isn’t designed around providing pockets deep enough to permanently have a phone on one’s person!  If I am lucky, they will assist in the search, again looking in the usual places and then progressing to less likely places: under sofa cushions, in the bathroom, in the garden (summer months only).  It is usually found fairly quickly and I am on my way again. Depending on the time pressures I am under, the desperation to find the phone intensifies, my sense of panic rises with my stress levels.  A few years ago, I had just taken possession of the ‘latest’ blackberry’ phone, I loved it. It was my second one. I liked Blackberry because of its shape, keyboard and I could fit it in the pocket of my jeans. I remember the day well – it was a Saturday in October; my husband was working my son was out and I had a few hours to myself to do a few jobs. I spent too long on a cookery programme and all of a sudden, I had time pressures. I needed dog food, so decided on a quick dash to the local pet shop (even if it was more expensive) and then I could catch up time for my other visits.  I even remember what the weather was like; stormy, gale force winds! Autumn leaves were falling quickly to the ground and swirling round. I completed my purchase, got back in the car and headed for my first appointment. Once there, I realised that I didn’t have my phone – no matter; it will be in the car! Visit over, I checked the car – no phone – no matter, I was probably in so much of a rush, I left it at home! Got home – no phone!! Now panic set in.  I searched in all the usual and unusual places, so next was to retrace my steps. Back at the local shops, it was no longer just blowing a gale, rain was lashing down. I kicked over the debris and fallen leaves but no phone.  OK – so I had insurance – only I didn’t! The phone company informed me that the insurance on the old phone wasn’t automatically transferred with the new phone! I was angry! The company tersely told me all they would replace was the SIM card and I had to contact the police and report the loss – that was my only option! Which I duly did and went back to using my ‘old’ blackberry for two years until the phone company deemed enough time had elapsed and they could get me into another contract with a new phone.  Funnily enough, whilst fiddling with my current phone, I came across some old messages on messenger! Back in 2015, someone had found my phone, handed it in to Ladbroke’s at the local shops and sent me a message saying that was where my phone was! Alas – too late to recover it and the lost pictures!  I am in no way trivializing grief, merely using this experience and story to highlight some behaviour’s and actions we engage in when we have lost something we value!  Very often, what is said to a person experiencing loss is inappropriate, we say the wrong things. Sometimes things are said to lighten the mood, make us feel better – but often, it leaves us feeling cold or even angry.  It is natural to search for that which we have lost – its not uncommon to see the back of someone in the crowd and think we have seen someone we love who has died. It is not our mind playing tricks, we are not weird for seeing this – it is a normal reaction when grieving.  We will always remember, and remember minute detail. I still remember what I was wearing, what I had eaten, what I was doing on the morning my mother died – and on the anniversary of her death, I remember again and feel sad! This is a normal reaction to a sad event in my life – it does not mean I have not recovered from my bereavement. I have, I am not stuck or feeling broken. I have lots of lovely memories as well as the sad ones – they are all me.  Whilst grief is a ‘normal’ reaction to loss; it is not always appreciated as such, there are many myths about grieving and it is sometimes difficult to adjust to a world without that person we loved, the job that we had found so satisfying, the home we once had, the pet that greeted us so enthusiastically when we came home.  Family and friends try to be helpful but they can miss the mark and we can then find ourselves isolated with our grief and alone and then it is hard to think logically, rationally and its hard not to have confused feelings.  So what should we say to someone who has told you about a recent loss? • What happened • Can you tell me more? • I can’t imagine how ……painful/ awful that has been for you.  Never say: • I know how you feel! • Don’t be sad. • Everything will be OK • I had a similar experience and then start talking about yourself.  If you are suffering from a broken heart, or feeling lost and would like help with grief, please do not hesitate to contact me. 

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Grief Recovery Services I offer 

Grief & Bereavement using Grief Recovery Method in a group format Grief & Bereavement help using the Grief Recovery Method in a 1-1 format

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Laureen Hemming, Grief Recovery Specialist operates under licence from Grief Recovery Europe Ltd. If you have any concerns or questions please call (+44) 01234 862217 

 
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