Meet Nicky Clifford: Mum, Teaching Assistant and Life Changer
Posted on 25th April 2017 at 02:20
“Hi, I’m Nicky and I’m thrilled Carole has asked me to tell my story. When I read The Grief Recovery Handbook I felt like the writers had read my mind! I told all my friends `this book makes COMPLETE sense to me` and I felt inspired to use my experience to help others.”
Nicky’s experience was horrific. In September 2013, she was taking her sons to school when a car collision killed her 11 year old son Flynn. Her other son Dylan aged 15 who was also in the car survived with bruises. It was 7 months before she returned to work, suffering PTSD and flashbacks.
“I was offered EMDR therapy and counselling which was helpful, but I still carried a lot of pain.”
When she was asked to take part in a BBC 4 documentary following the work of the Crown Prosecution Service she agreed and found that this process too was therapeutic. The documentary first aired in Feb 2016 and has now been nominated for a BAFTA award for best factual film.
Nicky still in pain, was reluctant to accept that she had to feel this way forever. The therapy, counselling and making the programme had helped somewhat. Perhaps there was something else out there that could help a bit more? So, she started to research and that is when she discovered the Grief Recovery Method and decided to do the Certification Training.
“Before you learn how to help others you are lead step by step through the Grief Recovery Method to work on a personal loss. It might sound like a cliché but it was truly a life changing experience.
As a result of that workshop my relationship with Flynn has been completely transformed. I’ve got all my memories back of him whereas before I was stuck on the painful ones of the end of his life. This meant that as soon as I’d think about him the pain would hit me all over again. Now the pain has gone I can remember everything about him. Of course, I miss him every day and sometimes I’m sad when I think about him – which is all normal and natural. But often I remember him with happiness & I also feel closer to him than ever which is wonderful.”
Empowered by the tools she learned Nicky set about bringing the Grief Recovery Method to her home town of Sandbach, Cheshire. “The Certification Training gave me the skills to help others and the support of Carole my trainer and other Grief Recovery Specialists gave me the confidence. In September ’16 I ran my first Grief Recovery Group Support programme; the feedback was fabulous – it was such a rewarding experience.”
Nicky was still working as a Teaching Assistant and noticed that her colleagues struggled with knowing what to say and do around kids that were grieving so approached the school with the idea of running the Helping Children Deal with Loss Programme. It was so well received by the first group of teachers that she ran a second group almost straight after and is now listed as a Consultant on the Independent Schools Portal.
“The training taught me skills that I use every day not just when I am running courses, it has made me a better friend and someone my family can turn to with confidence. I’m so pleased I stumbled on Grief Recovery when I did, it’s made such a difference to me and the people I’ve worked with.”
Tagged as: bereaved mum, bereavement training, child death, nicky clifford mirror, Nicky Clifford Note Magazine, road death
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